Ask my friends, I am not a prude. I like to have fun, with my friends. I let loose, with my friends. I’ve been known to curse like a sailor and tell an off-color joke or two, with my friends. And it’s actually pretty easy to be my friend. So before I get responses telling me to lighten up, I don’t need to, I already am. I am not whining. I am offering specific tangible items to help educate folks on how women in tech are treated on a regular basis. Since I am in tech, I am not sure if the issues exist in other professional worlds. Tech is my professional world. None of these events made me personally feel threatened, yet none of them were appropriate in the environment of a professional conference.
Women in technology is a hot topic these days (again). For me, being a woman in technology is irrelevant. I am either too naïve or too arrogant to think I am treated differently because of my gender (on a regular basis, with those I choose to work with). Going to a conference is a whole ‘nother thing. I’ve written before about someone dropping a roofie in my drink at a large tech conference. This is not about things to that extreme. This is the list of annoying and inappropriate things that happen to us (women in tech) on a regular basis. Things we shouldn’t have to put up with in a professional world.
The conference I was at is irrelevant. It is a conference made, run and attended by professionals, a few thousand of them. Except for the annoying few that trigger blog posts such as this one. It is a conference that felt nearly even 50/50 men and women as both attendees and speakers. All of the men I will be referring to here are middle age or older. They likely have daughters, some quite likely have daughters my age. They are men that should know better. Somehow the young men at these conferences are the ones that know how to have fun and not cross certain lines (or maybe I’m too old for them to bother?). This is a middle-aged man issue (from my vantage point).
Annoyance #1- there was an experts table for attendees to come to and ask their specific questions of the experts (the desk was staffed by volunteer speakers and MVPs). At this time there were three of us staffing the table, myself and two male colleagues. A man none of us know (at least 60 years old) approached the table, walked directly up to me and asked “is this where I get my massage?” My response was that we only massage brains here, he walked away.
Annoyance #2- the event party was hosted at a local bar. The sponsors had a fine selection of beverages available for us that did not include any hard liquor. I was standing with a group of female friends listening to live music, one of the sponsors of the party was in the band, and it was kinda fun actually. A man none of us knew, stumbled over to us, tray of shots in hand, I’d say about my age (mid 40s). He offered shots, we all declined. (Offering the drinks, not a problem. Not accepting our no, there’s the problem.) He set down the tray and picked one girl from our group as his target and was practically pouring the shot into her mouth while she was saying no thanks, hey I’m working, leave me alone kinda things. I took the shot from his hand and placed it on a nearby table and told him to just walk away in my best mom voice. He listened and left us alone. No one should accept an already poured drink from someone they do not know (see above about being roofied). No one should have to say no thank you more than once.
Annoyance #3- this one crosses a bit of a line that the others did not, but the man in this story responded respectfully and appropriately when confronted. A woman at the conference let me know that a friend of hers, also a woman attending the conference, had acquired a stalker and he was making her very uncomfortable. My immediate response was let’s find this man and tell him to stop. I find out a little of the story. He is older than I (I’d say mid to late 50s), recently divorced, a tad bit socially awkward and unaware. He and my new friend had exchanged a few texts like people might do at a conference. Then he went too far. Like 100 text messages a day too far. Like comments about her stripping as a job if the tech thing didn’t work out. Too far. We are in the expo hall, we notice this man I go to speak with him. I do feel the need to say, it was a well-attended public place and at no time did I put myself in danger by approaching him. I introduced myself, ask if he had a minute to talk. I explained we had a friend in common and that he was making her very uncomfortable. His texts and conversations we smothering and inappropriate and needed to stop. This is a professional conference and we should keep it that way. He seemed genuinely surprised. Agreed to leave her alone. He sent one more text to her, apologizing. Then he stopped.
I did nothing special. I did what women do for each other. Had I been on the receiving end of the unwanted attention again, any one of the women around me would have done the same thing. It’s what we do.
Here’s some info on a series of events put on by some pretty big superstars. Both Dave and I will be at the event in Denver on October 20, 2014. There are several events, scroll for the link to the master event page.
The Road to the Cloud is a series of global events led by Microsoft Regional Directors. The event focuses on the tremendous opportunity the new cloud market presents for the business leaders of established ISVs.
1. Applications to Apps: The Shifting Software Market
The rapid co-evolution of hardware and software in a mobile-first, cloud-first world is changing the way ISVs do business: from concept to delivery to sales and monetization. Thriving in this evolving environment means looking at customers and the industry in a new way. In this session we’ll look at market trends and the ways many ISVs are evolving the way software is developed, marketed and sold.
2. Cloud Computing Models: Private, Public and Hybrid
Analysts project that SaaS applications will significantly outpace traditional software product delivery in the near future. As ISVs facing this ever-changing cloud landscape, you need to make critical decisions about your application lifecycle and hosting models. Evaluate some of those considerations, and learn how the platform you choose can support the model you determine.
3. Cloud Business and Cost Models
Cloud computing is less a technological revolution than it is a business revolution. In this session we'll look at trends that are driving cloud computing and the opportunities these bring to ISV organizations to compete in the marketplace. We’ll see how cloud computing can change an ISV's business model in potentially radical new ways and discuss concrete ways your business can grow in the modern world of software.
4. ISV Success Stories
5. Networking Reception
What is the business driver
You should attend this event if you are interested in learning how to capture the strategic opportunity that the new cloud market presents. This opportunity brings not just technical changes, but fundamental shifts to your company’s business model, and a platform decision is a key component of that shift.
Who should attend – partner size, industry, job title etc
The event should be attended by business leaders within ISVs
What you will get out of attending the event
Join this event to learn from your peers in the industry that have leveraged the benefits of the cloud to build a successful business. You’ll hear from owners and leaders of successful software businesses about best practices and lessons learned, and gain insight about the cloud opportunity for a software business.
We also have a networking session right after the event.
This event is focused on business strategy, and is not a technical learning event.